they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
