I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
