Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
