It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i will never coherently bang her
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
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