tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
