its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
