If i come over, it means nothing
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
