it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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