What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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