we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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