no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
