The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
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