Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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