I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
