my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
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