in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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