It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize