I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize