Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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