My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
