i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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