I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
