walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
