I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
