problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
