i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
