I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Randomize
