I want to stick my p in your. b.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
