My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
