you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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