and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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