Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
