I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
