This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
