Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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