and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
