On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize