I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
