The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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