so explain again why im purple
no
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
