Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
The best revenge is premature balding
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize