$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
