You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Randomize
