I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
