how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
