My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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