Already got asked if we're dating
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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