This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
