i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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