He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
