Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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