I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Dicks are not precious.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
