What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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