UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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