At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
She made me pour olive oil on her.
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