they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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